The Sunday funnies - part one

Sunday morning is laundry time. The best part is throwing away the little magazines that are left there by the Mormons. I will look at the titles on the cover, sometimes I will look at the table of contents, have a nice chuckle and chuck them in the trash...but not this week.

There were two issues lying out whose covers just screamed of funny material. I was not disappointed. This is the first of several posts inspired by their contents.

This first writing will deal with their topic: Must we always tell the truth? That sounds like a loaded question coming from a very dubious source. I started reading the first main article, which began with a parable (nice to see them sticking with their writing tradition of inventing stories to make a point) of someone being backed into a corner and forced to make a choice of telling the truth or lying. After leaving the parabloid hanging in his predicament, the author brings in the first bibble reference.

The author writes: Jesus, of course, was referring to the event in the garden of Eden when Satan induced the first human pair to disobey God and thus fall victim to sin and death.

Touching. When writing that, I noticed this time the choice of the word pair as opposed to humans or man and woman but notice the lack of couple because of the lack of marriage. Anyway...

When I finished reading the paragraph, I knew that I had a gold mine in those thirty-one words. The first thing that popped into my head is the oft-cited mantra Gawd's plan. This mantra causes some problems with the author's sentence. Let's see what we have.

If you take the plan into account, then that means that Gawd planned for Satan to induce humans to sin. Humans were intentionally created to sin and fall from grace. Why would IT do that? Simple. Gawd is a wicked and vain deity. IT is wicked because IT intentionally created humans to fall. Once fallen, humans would be remorseful and want to beg for forgiveness to return to grace. A kind deity would not subject humans to atone for something that they were surreptitiously made to do in order to feed someone's/something's ego and need for praise.

Then there are the words: fall victim to sin and death. The only bad thing to which humans fell victim is a sneaky deity, who knew what they would do before they did it and then has the balls to punish them. When IT scooped up that first handful of clay, IT was probably salivating at the thought of the pain and suffering that would soon be inflicted by their punishment, which would lead to countless generations of pleas and prayers to IT.

Satan may have known what IT was planning and thus tried to help the humans by giving them knowledge to break them free of the naiveté and ignorance that was given them before being cast out or paradise. Can you imagine how screwed we would be if humans had done something else to be cast out?

Remind me again, which is the bad deity?

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