What's wrong with this picture?

I'll give you a hint. One of them prays to a carved piece of wood and practices cannibalism. It's okay, the cannibalism is a tradition.

Now for today's philosophical quandary: What is the actual difference between the two system depicted? Here's a hint: nothing.

Old habits are hard to break

Not just a funny cartoon, but full of symbolism.

The young child on the left is hoping that the Easter bunny will leave him some candy to find. If the Easter bunny likes him, he will leave the candy where he can find it. He still has to search for it so success in this area is...a reward. Then, there is the Easter element: originally a pagan festival, adapted for religious means.

The regular child in the middle is hoping that Santa Clause will bring him some toys. If the child is good, then Santa just might do that. He doesn't have to search for them, but they will not appear until the end of the year. That sounds like...another reward. Santa Clause is better known as Saint Nicholas. He's not even a real saint - a phony. Then there is the modern fairy-tale figure. No comment. Christmas: a winter solstice festival, once again, adapted for religious purposes.

Finally, the grown child on the right is hoping for another reward. After a lifetime of candy and playing, he now wants something better for himself. Maybe a cure for his diabetes, or a new eye to replace the one that he lost playing with his Jarts®? No, he wants the most selfish gift of all, eternal life. Not satisfied with his normal allotment, he wants more, more, more. He wants that carefree existence where everything is nice and there is no pain and suffering and all his good friends are with him. I said good, not fun. That's quite a demand. It's gonna take some serious mythology to fulfill this one.

Good luck, buddy. Old habits are hard to break.

Next on the menu...

To be fair, now that we have electricity, things might not degenerate this far again. On the other hand, I do have faith in the ability of people to close their minds very tight. Anything is possible, especially when it is away from progress.

Taber-chuckles: Philosophical Question Time

Now that we know the answer, what is the question?

* What do you get if you multiply six by nine?
* Who farted?
* Do you want fries with that?
* An invisible man / sleepin' in your bed. / Who you gonna call?
* Train A leaves town A and travels at 50 miles per hour towrds town B. Train B leaves town B 43 minutes later and travels at 77 miles per hour towards town A. Train B has to slow down to 49 miles per hour for a distance of 13851 feet. Town A and Town B are 637.29 kilometers apart in a straight line. How long will train B travel before it passes train A?
* Where are the car keys?
* Who's the black private dick / That's a sex machine to all the chicks? Ya damn right!
* Who left their underwear on the ceiling fan?
* Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
* Do you know the way to San Tropéz?
* How can something like the Jena 6 occur in a civilized society?
* Would you like to subscribe to the New York Times?
* Do you have a reservation?
* Cash or charge?
* What time is it?
* What would Jesus do? (Hmm. Would Jesus do Jesus? Is that auto-erotica or something along the lines of servicing Jesus? Both of those are a sin so someone is going to Hell. Perhaps Jesus would create another Jesus but then which one do you worship? Now there are two and one of the commandments is to have no other, so now that this is a polytheistic system, it is a moral crime to pracice it. Wow.)
* Blondes, brunettes, ravens, or reds?
* Is it live or is it Memorex--?
* Are those tits real?

I feel so enlightened.

Food for thought

The Occam's Razor statement is self-explanatory so let's add another point to consider. We all are grateful for those little icth-ian warning symbols that Xians put on their cars. One variant has the word Truth inside the symbol. With that thought in mind, and looking at this image, where exactly is that Truth? Looks like you'll need a GPS unit to find it - or you would if it was on a map or even could be found at all.

The destination you've chosen is not a valid destination. Please try again.

Mr. President...

What is your opinion of the report that says that Christianity is not the only religion on the planet?



Now that isn't a Christian thing to say.

Jerry Falwell, RIG

The Rev. Jerry Falwell died sometime this morning or afternoon. I wish his family well. I wish nothing of him except that he rots in the ground (RIG). Toast the man, his life, and his contributions to the destruction of the American democracy with some ginger ale, soda, and Campari.

Campari. You'll never forget your first time.

A letter to Janice Crouse

I confess here and now that this is wholly inspired by a segment seen regularly on "The Henry Rollins Show," Fridays on IFC. Thanks to CrooksAndLiars.Com for bringing this nugget to us all.


To: Janice Crouse,
Director, Beverly Lahaye Institute of the Concerned Women for America group


Dear Jan:

I saw you quoted on the internet today. I loved the comment that they pulled out - it made me smile. Now people could easily debate your intention but we were not there when you spoke. I have never heard of you before and have not heard anything else that you have ever said with which I might begin to build a foundation of my impending analysis. All that I have is this one sentence. I also know that it is out of context. There is no quoted material preceding or following the sentence in question, but don't worry, it is not needed.

The reason for the unfortunate opening of your mouth is that American PBS, public broadcasting for the people, is going to show a mini-series, produced by the BBC, "A Brief History of Disbelief," a program about atheism (Consult http://www.abriefhistoryofdisbelief.org/ for a calendar of airings). You and your group (since your opened your mouth and included the name of your group, we have to presume that you are some form of spokeswoman), the Concerned Women for America (by the way, I love the uninformative name but I suspect that uninformed is the key word here), have a problem with this. Apparently, you and your frigid kaffeeklatch feel that it, and I quote (with an evil grin), "Janice Crouse,...told Cybercast News Service that 'airing the program gives credibility and cohesiveness to individuals who seek to undermine the beliefs and values on which democracy and the American dream are founded.'" Wow. For want of a single word, you might not be less of an ignorant savage, but you would seem a tad smarter (Here, tad is a relative term implying nonzero - Ed.).

Your statement has several problems for me. The biggest one I will save for last. Let me look at your statement on the whole. Your statement is why American Christians are so despicable. I realize that some ACs are actually good people. They are good because they do not make any noise. Apparently any source of information that can inform and foster debate with which you and your ilk are uncomfortable and does not fit with your values is subversive. Way to close that mind. Why not watch the show, see what the opinions of other are and engage them in an intelligent, public debate. Sorry, I forgot, you are an American conservative Christian. My mistake.

The latter half of your sentence tells me that, in your opinion, atheism undermines "the beliefs and values on which democracy and the American Dream are founded." Hmm. I thought that the American Dream was about freedom: freedom from tyranny, freedom to practice your faith, freedom of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" (that's in the US Constitution, Jan - Ed.) It is exactly why that statement exists in the document so that ignorant savages, visigoths of culture and the mind, are no better or worse than human beings. As I read them again and again, frankly, I am disgusted that someone could say such a thing. Don't worry, Jan, here is my favorite part.

So, what is this magical (oops, paganism) single word that would have fixed this statement and made all of the difference in the world? The word "our" - "our democracy." Democracy is not an American invention - American democracy is. American democracy certainly looks like democracy much in the same way that communism looks like socialism - it is very close but not quite. American democracy was definitely a serendipitous happening. It was the right people at the right time with the right way of free thinking. I believe that the Founding Fathers were deists. They definitely were not Christians in the modern sense of the word but old-time Christians. You know, the good, admirable, likable kind. They managed to create America despite having to live in a country that was founded by religious zealots, a people so unlikable that England told them to get out. Once here, where there was room to be isolated, they did as they pleased and the country could go on with its development. Of course, their democracy was not real democracy either.

The last time there was a democracy was 2200 years ago. The Greeks invented it and only the Greeks used it. Under analysis, they were not the best democracy either. All that either of them needed was a little egalitarianism, as socialism promotes, and you have a real democracy. In Athens, the people (neé citizens) ruled and they paid for it by actually participating in government. The really, really weird thing is that they managed to do it without Christianity. Democracy was invented by a society with a polytheistic religious system. You have to understand that the Greeks did not revere their gods. They had some fear but they knew that they were flawed. They ate, drank, and screwed everything in sight, just like the Greeks. The Greek gods were a mirror of the Greek people. They did not fret over what the gods might think - screw 'em. In the end, it did not matter since everyone, good or bad, went to the same cold, dank underworld. Without having to waste time worrying how the scales with tip in the end, they could actually spend time bettering themselves and their culture. Thank God for that.

Most, if not all (the subject of another debate) of the great advances in the foundation of human knowledge and culture came from polytheistic societies: the Greeks, the Chinese, the Aztecs, the Romans, the Vikings, the Mesopotamians. Monotheistic societies have built on their greatness. While we are at it, a big thank you to the Moors for preserving what they could of the knowledge of the Greeks. To be fair, modern religion has had just as great of an achievement by giving free-thinking people something oppressive to push against. Here endeth the detour.

There was an excellent political cartoon a few months ago (I think) and sadly I do not remember who was the artist but it was very salient. It was a silhouette of a figure giving a speech. The caption told us that this person was a member of (probably) the only religion whose membership would be a problem in American politics - the atheist. This is a horrible mistake of judgment. After all, they don't have to worry about what God might think or even worse, ask God for secular guidance towards a solution to a temporal problem. Atheists are thinking about the greater good of the people, even Christians - rational people exploring ideas and discussing them. I am sorry that you and the Concerned Women for America will be unable to participate because that is what democracy is all about. It is a shame that you cannot be understanding and accepting, but as the great social sage of our age, Mr. George Carlin observed, "that might be something Christ would do."

Sincerely,

Mict