Big Ben in da hizzle.

Well, this past weekend was Easter, another Christian holiday taken from pagan fertility festivals - a practice that helped make the pagans more malleable. I watched some of Big Ben on the Catholic Channel to see how he did conducting his first Easter service. He did okay, although I missed him washing some feet on Thursday. I had hoped to see him wearing a party hat since it was his birthday, too. I wonder what the birthday song is in Italian culture. I do not remember how many people can fit in St. Peter's Square but it is a huge number because when you see it on tv, it is an optical illusion. So imagine 200,000 people singing "Buono Birthday, Papa" all at once and in sync. Big Ben's next major milestone is the anniversary of his investiture on April 19. That's right kids, he has been pope for one year already. So everyone make a note to raise a glass to Ben on Wednesday. Do not go overboard, just one toast. Show a little moderation. He will appreciate it, your self-control and the kind thought.

So long as I am here, when are we going to have a pope with some visible ink? Nothing as pedestrian as a crucifix on his forehead. Maybe they should have their name on their forehead. It would make it easier in the future to know that some leathery corpse is the pope who is supposed to be in that sarcophagus. Every now and then, those rascals like to move things around. I have it now: the pope should have the papal seal on the full of his back and his name above this, all across his shoulders. After all, it needs to be legible for the people down in the Square. He should also lead the Vatican choir on lead guitar. Yes, sir! Dr. Gene Scott for pope. That would put butts in pews and liven up some rather stodgy liturgy.