Mr. President...

What is your opinion of the report that says that Christianity is not the only religion on the planet?



Now that isn't a Christian thing to say.

Jerry Falwell, RIG

The Rev. Jerry Falwell died sometime this morning or afternoon. I wish his family well. I wish nothing of him except that he rots in the ground (RIG). Toast the man, his life, and his contributions to the destruction of the American democracy with some ginger ale, soda, and Campari.

Campari. You'll never forget your first time.

A letter to Janice Crouse

I confess here and now that this is wholly inspired by a segment seen regularly on "The Henry Rollins Show," Fridays on IFC. Thanks to CrooksAndLiars.Com for bringing this nugget to us all.


To: Janice Crouse,
Director, Beverly Lahaye Institute of the Concerned Women for America group


Dear Jan:

I saw you quoted on the internet today. I loved the comment that they pulled out - it made me smile. Now people could easily debate your intention but we were not there when you spoke. I have never heard of you before and have not heard anything else that you have ever said with which I might begin to build a foundation of my impending analysis. All that I have is this one sentence. I also know that it is out of context. There is no quoted material preceding or following the sentence in question, but don't worry, it is not needed.

The reason for the unfortunate opening of your mouth is that American PBS, public broadcasting for the people, is going to show a mini-series, produced by the BBC, "A Brief History of Disbelief," a program about atheism (Consult http://www.abriefhistoryofdisbelief.org/ for a calendar of airings). You and your group (since your opened your mouth and included the name of your group, we have to presume that you are some form of spokeswoman), the Concerned Women for America (by the way, I love the uninformative name but I suspect that uninformed is the key word here), have a problem with this. Apparently, you and your frigid kaffeeklatch feel that it, and I quote (with an evil grin), "Janice Crouse,...told Cybercast News Service that 'airing the program gives credibility and cohesiveness to individuals who seek to undermine the beliefs and values on which democracy and the American dream are founded.'" Wow. For want of a single word, you might not be less of an ignorant savage, but you would seem a tad smarter (Here, tad is a relative term implying nonzero - Ed.).

Your statement has several problems for me. The biggest one I will save for last. Let me look at your statement on the whole. Your statement is why American Christians are so despicable. I realize that some ACs are actually good people. They are good because they do not make any noise. Apparently any source of information that can inform and foster debate with which you and your ilk are uncomfortable and does not fit with your values is subversive. Way to close that mind. Why not watch the show, see what the opinions of other are and engage them in an intelligent, public debate. Sorry, I forgot, you are an American conservative Christian. My mistake.

The latter half of your sentence tells me that, in your opinion, atheism undermines "the beliefs and values on which democracy and the American Dream are founded." Hmm. I thought that the American Dream was about freedom: freedom from tyranny, freedom to practice your faith, freedom of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" (that's in the US Constitution, Jan - Ed.) It is exactly why that statement exists in the document so that ignorant savages, visigoths of culture and the mind, are no better or worse than human beings. As I read them again and again, frankly, I am disgusted that someone could say such a thing. Don't worry, Jan, here is my favorite part.

So, what is this magical (oops, paganism) single word that would have fixed this statement and made all of the difference in the world? The word "our" - "our democracy." Democracy is not an American invention - American democracy is. American democracy certainly looks like democracy much in the same way that communism looks like socialism - it is very close but not quite. American democracy was definitely a serendipitous happening. It was the right people at the right time with the right way of free thinking. I believe that the Founding Fathers were deists. They definitely were not Christians in the modern sense of the word but old-time Christians. You know, the good, admirable, likable kind. They managed to create America despite having to live in a country that was founded by religious zealots, a people so unlikable that England told them to get out. Once here, where there was room to be isolated, they did as they pleased and the country could go on with its development. Of course, their democracy was not real democracy either.

The last time there was a democracy was 2200 years ago. The Greeks invented it and only the Greeks used it. Under analysis, they were not the best democracy either. All that either of them needed was a little egalitarianism, as socialism promotes, and you have a real democracy. In Athens, the people (neé citizens) ruled and they paid for it by actually participating in government. The really, really weird thing is that they managed to do it without Christianity. Democracy was invented by a society with a polytheistic religious system. You have to understand that the Greeks did not revere their gods. They had some fear but they knew that they were flawed. They ate, drank, and screwed everything in sight, just like the Greeks. The Greek gods were a mirror of the Greek people. They did not fret over what the gods might think - screw 'em. In the end, it did not matter since everyone, good or bad, went to the same cold, dank underworld. Without having to waste time worrying how the scales with tip in the end, they could actually spend time bettering themselves and their culture. Thank God for that.

Most, if not all (the subject of another debate) of the great advances in the foundation of human knowledge and culture came from polytheistic societies: the Greeks, the Chinese, the Aztecs, the Romans, the Vikings, the Mesopotamians. Monotheistic societies have built on their greatness. While we are at it, a big thank you to the Moors for preserving what they could of the knowledge of the Greeks. To be fair, modern religion has had just as great of an achievement by giving free-thinking people something oppressive to push against. Here endeth the detour.

There was an excellent political cartoon a few months ago (I think) and sadly I do not remember who was the artist but it was very salient. It was a silhouette of a figure giving a speech. The caption told us that this person was a member of (probably) the only religion whose membership would be a problem in American politics - the atheist. This is a horrible mistake of judgment. After all, they don't have to worry about what God might think or even worse, ask God for secular guidance towards a solution to a temporal problem. Atheists are thinking about the greater good of the people, even Christians - rational people exploring ideas and discussing them. I am sorry that you and the Concerned Women for America will be unable to participate because that is what democracy is all about. It is a shame that you cannot be understanding and accepting, but as the great social sage of our age, Mr. George Carlin observed, "that might be something Christ would do."

Sincerely,

Mict

Happy Jonestown Massacre Day!

I hope that everyone has a happy holiday today.

For those of you too young to remember this and uninformed in this area, the Massacre was not a real massacre but a mass-suicide. It is also the origin of the phrase "to drink the Kool-Aid," indicating blind, unquestioning, maybe self-destructive obedience. Nine hundred and thirteen out of approximately 1000 people committed suicide at the instruction of their charismatic leader, Rev. Jim Jones. This is what religion, both the good part and the bad part, is all about: control. I am working on a larger text about this that I will bore the crap out of the reader but in segments.

What are your plans? Set up a booth with free Kool-Aid® and little pocket Bibles but only 913 servings and books.

It is not the first time and certainly will not be the last time.

Cheers! Gia'sou! Sláinte! Skál! Kampai! Sanitas bona! Oogy wawa!

Want to learn more? Link: http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial4/jonestown/

Big Ben in da hizzle.

Well, this past weekend was Easter, another Christian holiday taken from pagan fertility festivals - a practice that helped make the pagans more malleable. I watched some of Big Ben on the Catholic Channel to see how he did conducting his first Easter service. He did okay, although I missed him washing some feet on Thursday. I had hoped to see him wearing a party hat since it was his birthday, too. I wonder what the birthday song is in Italian culture. I do not remember how many people can fit in St. Peter's Square but it is a huge number because when you see it on tv, it is an optical illusion. So imagine 200,000 people singing "Buono Birthday, Papa" all at once and in sync. Big Ben's next major milestone is the anniversary of his investiture on April 19. That's right kids, he has been pope for one year already. So everyone make a note to raise a glass to Ben on Wednesday. Do not go overboard, just one toast. Show a little moderation. He will appreciate it, your self-control and the kind thought.

So long as I am here, when are we going to have a pope with some visible ink? Nothing as pedestrian as a crucifix on his forehead. Maybe they should have their name on their forehead. It would make it easier in the future to know that some leathery corpse is the pope who is supposed to be in that sarcophagus. Every now and then, those rascals like to move things around. I have it now: the pope should have the papal seal on the full of his back and his name above this, all across his shoulders. After all, it needs to be legible for the people down in the Square. He should also lead the Vatican choir on lead guitar. Yes, sir! Dr. Gene Scott for pope. That would put butts in pews and liven up some rather stodgy liturgy.